Recession Creates More Stay At Home Dads

Recession finds domestic duties divided differently
April 16, 2009 CHICAGO SUN-TIMES
BY MARILYN GARDNER

As a two-income couple, DeAnna and Seth Starn had worked out what she calls a “somewhat balanced” arrangement for sharing child care and household duties.

Then last November Seth Starn was laid off from his job as a graphic designer. Now their domestic balance has shifted.

“He stays home three days a week with our infant son,” says DeAnna Starn, a publicist. “He pretty much has kitchen duty every night and makes sure the laundry is covered, the grocery list is made, and dinner is made.”

That kind of renegotiation is taking place in families across the country as layoffs have increased, sending the unemployment rate to 8.5 percent. With 82 percent of pink slips going to men, more women like Starn are finding themselves the primary breadwinners, giving them less time at home.

“Many couples still have what resembles a more traditional breakdown of roles,” says Michelle Weiner-Davis, a marriage counselor and author of Divorce Busting. “The person unemployed or underemployed is expected to pick up the slack and often does so, but is often not enthusiastic about it.”

If men aren’t doing this good-naturedly, she adds, women have little patience. “They also get impatient if men don’t do it the way they would, or don’t think of doing a particular task that is part of women’s regular routine. When these things happen, it creates a whole lot of tension.”

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